pensando…

He escuchado muchas veces que las palabras se las lleva el viento, será para algunos oídos con sordera selectiva??… Para mí, son tatuajes que llevo en el alma, no se me olvida lo malo que me digan pero me enfoco más en lo positivo…

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BRUCE LEE

I decided to live day by day not worrying about tomorrow… I was getting very anxious about the things I have been missing because of the situation, having a cancer patient in the house when you are raising kids and taking care of a family could be very challenging, so I stop worrying about the traveling, the partying the house deco & remodeling the house and  the this or that… and my body and mind just got exhausted from over thinking & worrying too much about unknown futuristic stuff… I was not happy with myself and I was certainly not making others happy, so I decided to stop thinking (and I am still on that process though)… At one point I was very sad about “not having” a life… Instead, I decided to accept my journey and I’m seeing it as if I was chosen to have others (my mom) living a better time before their time is up, because I can control the quality of life she is having now but not the time that she will be with us. I have been trying to see the positives and think less about the negatives, and also trying not to focus on what others are doing that I’m not, because that shit hurts much…. I try everyday not ask too many why’s, I try not to look at other peoples’ paths because they might look greener, but you never know till you get to that side… Today I will live day by day and I’m going to enjoy every second of my journey… I already lost my dad with cancer and even though my mom has been doing good, I can’t tell when that time will stop… I always wanted to be a gypsie, I actually think I have one inside (that gypsie soul),and even though this life has prevented me from living a gypsie life I can still have some of that… because I still can control some things 😀

BRAVE

 

I blame you, I blame you, and I blame you, and I blame me!

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I love how the system claims to “help” you with student loans at a higher interest rate than a house???? How is that helping me? So I have a house but I can’t afford education to actually afford a house???? If you truly want to help me then make student loans more affordable, make my life easier so I can be more productive, happier and functional to the society. Happier people is less anxiety, less trouble, less society issues. Seems to me like they want us drugged, alcohol addicted and completely dysfunctional… well let me tell you system, if you have a society that is entirely dysfunctional your $$$ could be affected too. More drug abusers is less functional people in the world and the thing is that they are still alive and we still have to pay for treatments, jails, and yet it is a rounded business… I don’t think is cost effective…. Am I talking shit? And then they come up with so many distractions so you totally believe in their “good intentions” BBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m going to start blaming it on Disney, for making me believe that a freaking prince was going to take me away from the system… I wasn’t Meghan Markle for sure, I am also blaming It on my mom for not planning to have me as a boy instead…I would have been a ball player for sure (any balls but meat balls)… I also blaming Sesame Street… they always made me thought life was so simple!!! BS!!! I am also blaming HGTV for making me think that you can live off of your creativity and washing elephants at the zoo can give you a budget of 3.5 million for a house or a bargain beach front property for the moderate prize of 825,000 dollars. I am also blaming my art teachers… they should have told me that rapping or putting music to some BS thoughts would have me making some mooooneeeyyy!!! I would have to blame my chemistry teachers as well… they never told me the secret of marihuana… Sorry PE teachers, you are also included, you should have told me that doing ONE sport and being good at it could have taken me to places…. I am also blaming my friends for not telling me that I had the body for being a stripper… or the face of a top model…instead they kept inviting me to freaking pizza hut!!!! When I was in HS (shame on you girls)…. Because they certainly told you that money wasn’t everything until you become an adult and you have to pay even for the oxygen you are taking from the world!!!!! Yes, ideally would have been the dream of all us that life was simpler… but it isn’t! Not for the ones that struggle… don’t give me no BS!!! Come on!!! College professors… shame on you as well… BIG TIME! You should been able to identify the weaknesses and the strengths on a student (meaning me) and tell them (me again) you should be…………..(something) if they listen fine, if they don’t well foc them! Well guess what? I’m telling my kids all the s* you didn’t tell me so they do better! I can keep blaming people, but at the end they all going to say is my fault, my weak decisions, my lack of blah blah blah… I insist, I was sent to this planet on mission that I want to abort, Master I tried to make this a better world but they seemed not interested on becoming a better place, please come and take me back to Lalaland…. Because feeling like a total looser trying to keep the head above waters isn’t really fun… this E.T. right here (meaning me) wants to go home! Because, don’t get me wrong… I’m still looking for my path… at almost 40 y/o but sometimes it seems like the only path I’ll find is the one for the nursing home…. (SMH). To finish pointing out others for my stupid choices imposed by the system that I thought was to help us, I am going to tell you I will find my way to prove you all wrong! I am a warrior!!! I have the power to change!!!!

#hemorragiamental #conlamuspará #metiendolealenglish

 

Analícese, Modifíquese y Armonícese! #Carajo

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Pensamos ó nos auto-sugestionamos a pensar que nacemos “así”, que la vida nos “hizo así” y raras veces pensamos en modificar conductas para hacernos las vidas menos complicadas… Les damos “updates” a la compu, al cel, a la casa, a nuestra vida profesional, pero a la conducta pa’ cuando????al cerebro pa’ cuando???? Los dejamos en la era ARCAICA???? El ser humano es capaz de asumir las posturas más patéticas del universo y después se excusa con la “cultura”, la “crianza” , el “sentido patrio”, la “genética”…. AL CARAJO!!!!! Usted lo que no quiere es pasar el trabajo de reconocer sus malas posturas , y no hablo de posturas politico-partidistas, ni de la posturas religiosas, ni de los ideales o preferencias… Usted puede ser ateo y ser buena persona, usted puede ser republicano, demócrata y ser buena persona… usted puede ser una prostituta y ser buena persona… hay posturas y hay posturas!!!!! y dije POSTURAS (no prostitutas).No se crea superior por que su piel es más clara que la de otros… total que TODOS somos igual de vulnerables, todos estamos expuestos a enfermedades, a catástrofes, a los ataques de personas sin escrúpulos y hasta la muerte… o acaso no se mueren los blancos por ser blancos????? Hágase un favor!!!!! Edúquese e instrúyase, pero sobretodo aprenda que el planeta tierra es de TODOS y que si empieza por modificar conducta usted… tal vez llegue a lograr impactar otra gente , y no digo que el mundo vaya a cambiar de la noche a la mañana… pero al menos TU mundo, TU entorno te lo agradecerá! Pase el trabajo de auto- analizarse y modifique sus conductas, no hablamos de que se deje joder… pero adopte conductas y posturas más agradables… haga balance y armonícese carajo!

#HEMORRAGIAMENTAL